Funny Quotes

FUNNY SCRUBS QUOTES

about Dr. Cox and Jordan]
Carla: Why does he keep going back to her?
Turk: I don't know. Why do people keep marrying Larry King? The man looks like a frog.

Janitor: Some hooligan keeps disconnecting the alarm. I told Security to look into it. But no, no, they'd rather catch the guy who's stealing organs from the transplant ward.

Carla: [about a male intern] You're right; he definitely has a cute little butt.
Elliot: It's almost like it's been sculpted.
J.D.: Who cares? Everyone has a cute butt; I have a cute butt.
Carla: You should bring it in someday.

J.D.: This, this isn't like being a janitor, okay! It's not just like something everybody can do. Janitor: Oh. So you can do my stuff, but I can't do yours?
J.D.: Yes!
Janitor: Okay, hotshot, what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tile floor?
J.D.: I don't know... the... rough side of a sponge? [silence]
Janitor: Dammit.

Turk: This is the reason why your headache didn't go away: That's actually pronounced analgesic, not anal-gesic. Sir, the pills go in your mouth.

Carla: Elliot, you know how they say no-one will ever love you until you learn to love yourself? Elliot: My mother used to say, "No-one will ever love you."

Turk: How can you make love to your wife if she's at fat camp?
Dr. Kelso: The real question is: how can I make love to her when she's not at fat camp?
[about his wife]
Dr. Kelso: Fat camp. Six years she's been going there, and the only thing getting any thinner is my wallet!